Home Alone

Every Monday I download the podcast of the radio program This American Life on NPR in Chicago. It is something I look forward to every week along with a half dozen or so other radio podcasts, but TAL is easily my favorite.
This week's offering featured the theme "Home Alone" about those in our society who chose to live alone in life. It's not hard to recognize the stigma related to this "phenomenon" of people who are thought to be deviant or intrinsically lonely based on this one factor of single dwelling. Then again, it's not hard to understand why that stigma exists; human society is intrinsically interdependent. We are not brought into this world single-handedly, but it is our choice in how we will live in this world, and inevitably, - to quote the popular television series "Lost" - we may live together, but we die alone.
Personally, when I first moved to Japan for four months as a student back in 1997, people were astounded at the fact that I knew no one where I was going. But I wasn't worried because I knew that there would be others there that I would get to know; and I did. Besides, the previous year I went to India for three months not knowing a soul, and ended up discovering enough beautiful souls that India still occupies a special place in my heart today.
I have experienced communal living in dormitories with roommates or housemates. I have lived with a Japanese family that housed and fed me for three months, expecting little in return (at least at first). And I have lived with my girlfriend/fiancee for over two years now. These have all been valuable experiences for me that I wouldn't trade for the world, however I also value the times when I have lived alone. For two years in the Japanese countryside, I had my own apartment and few visitors. For about one year in Kyoto, I lived in an apartment near the university I was attending, cycling back to my empty apartment in the middle of the night after finally closing my books for the day. Some of those days were lonely, and some of those nights I wished for nothing more than to be with my family and loved ones. But I recognized that there is a value in living alone and building up a sense of security in who you are as a single entity.
In the end, though, I think we all want to be part of the world around us. Those who cringe from that are indeed oddities to some extent, but only if they try to banish the outside world. For most people living alone, they enjoy that private space where they are free to invite people in or retreat to the peace and quiet of their own existence for a little while. And in some ways, these are the stable bastions of society who go against the grain and snap stereotypes like the brittle, bare-bone ideas they are. Afterall, I certainly can not deny that I look forward to putting on my headphones and fading into a different world, listening to the stories of TAL or even the daily news. Even on the crowded trains of Tokyo, instead of feeling like an isolated sardine in a metal box, I can close my eyes and be someplace else. Even alone, we know when we are home.